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Abandon all hope ye who cheer for the maroon and white

the sixpack lexicon...
Some of you have mentioned you'd like to be in the Six Pack's inside jokes and such. Further, I'm sure some of our new posters have trouble with some of our terminology. To that end, the founders of sixpackspeak.com have created this handy lexicon of this board's most often used words and phrases.

Amber Bock - A good beer, but not in keg form.

Athens, Georgia - A magical place where even a 47-0 defeat can be instantaneously forgotten.

Apartment 16F - The location where legendary phrases such as Fantasyland, The Swan, The Sheep, Disciples, etc. were originated to describe the people who post on "another" message board.

April 21st, 2003 - Heydog's now infamous post quoting bluto rallying the troops in Animal House. Said post results in him and nearly the entire registered membership either being permanently or temporarily banned from sitting on Swan Lake.

Austin is going pro - Rumor first reported by Jsireland on another message board. He was subsequently, and predictably, dragged over the coals by the seething mass of Sunshine. At one point, he was even called a disgrace to his family of doctors (which, it turns out, he wasn't even related to). The saga was cut short, however, as the very next day ESPN reported that Austin was in fact going pro. Apologies were as absent as common sense and decency. The sheep bleated, Jsireland gloated, and the Sixpack saw promise in the young man.

Avid Reader Day - A day full of stories recanting great times with "The Avid Reader". It is celebrated on the last Friday before the summer solstice leaving those who would like to celebrate this wonderful day a possible 3 day weekend.

Balls - often commented on by crackerdog on slow MSU or sports days...or busy days. They can be described in a number of ways.

The Chimes - The best restaurant in the SEC.

Chinaman's Chance (as said by Dr. Jack Cristil) - The historical context of the phrase comes from the old railroad and Goldrush days of pre-California, where many Chinese came to work as menial laborers. In this course of events, they worked in a place that had been named, Hell, (California). The appropriate name choice of the place called "Hell", was due to the fact that it was, climate wise, "hot as hell"! Many people succumbed to the intolerable heat and died. Since most of the people working there were Chinese, the phrase came into being; "Chinaman's Chance in Hell"; subsequently meaning you had a slim chance to make it.

Chris Palmer - username of crackerdog after being banned for the first time on jeanspage.

Closet Rebels - People who disagree with the Swan but have Bulldog, Dog, or Dawg somewhere in their username.

Corporate Rock Trivia - a game played by the six-pack crew when in a drunken stupor, preferably at sporting events. The contestants ante up money to the pot, usually a buck per round, as they listen to a classic rock station (similar to 99.9 The Fox). The contestants each guess who they think will be the artist of the next song, i.e. Journey, Kansas, Foreigner, REO Speedwagon, Boston. You get the picture, it's easy. Whoever guesses right wins. If no one guesses correctly, we wait until the next song.

Cover 2 - A pass defense scheme where the two safeties are responsible for one half of the field each, assisting the cornerbacks with the wide receivers, while maintaining a close eye for a tight end or running back coming down the middle of the field.

The Cream Theory - Whenever MSU is in a position to achieve success on a national level, everyone associated with MSU from coaches to fans to players to staff experiences a dramatic tightening of the sphincter so great, we cannot help but choke.  This theory was created by Stallion4Tiiigaaahhhs, author of Cream Talk.

Crimes - Actions that are against the law. Sometimes, crimes are committed by Mississippi State athletes, sometimes, crimes are committed by athletes at other schools. Our athletes who commit crimes are no better than the athletes at other schools who commit crimes. Further, athletes at other schools who commit crimes are no worse than Mississippi State athletes who commit crimes.

Crooming - To get paid for a job you are not doing.

Cygnets - Also referred to as Sheep or Disciples. The hypnotized masses of the Swan's Board, who are either unable or unwilling to accept the truth about Mississippi State athletics, the truth being, that for the most part, all of our sports teams are mediocre.

Dreamland - The standard for ribs, Lil' Dooey isn't even in the same building.

Death Threats - "I'll get you a maroon-white body bag to return you to your family - if they even claim you. Otherwise, after I blow what little brains you have to kingdom come, I can dump your sorry *ss in the ******** County Potter's Field - where you belong. I've got a chamber loaded for you w your name on the ammo." is a good example of a death threat. Placing someone else's name in a satirical rendition of a Animal House quote is not a good example of a death threat.

Dubmass Queer - Anyone, regardless of actual sexual orientation, who did not score at least a 24 on the English section of the ACT.

8679305 - Dawgstudent's username after dawgstudent was banned. Also, despite anything else you may have heard or seen, he simply screwed up Jenny's number, although some John Nash fan club Bulldogs are still trying to decipher it.

Fast Food - What you are missing out on if you subscribe to the Swan's board. Your money would be better spent on that Extra Value Meal, or the Nachos Bell Grande.

Flanigan's - A bar in Athens, Georgia. You should not taunt the bartenders into making you stronger drinks here.

Fourth and 1 - A coaching call so dubious, it forced receivers to drop passes, punters to shank punts, defense to stop tackling, and a kicker to miss a field goal two hours before the call

Gainesville, FL - OVER-RATED! clap-clap-clap-clap-clap! Not a good party town. Before anyone says "52-0", see Athens, GA.

Gary Ervin Situation - when a player's propensity for stupid mistakes that cost his team games arise from said player's unwillingness to conform to his coach's desires. Usually these desires consist of "Don't drive the lane against 3 guys" or "Don't try to lay the ball in against a seven footer."

George Street Grocery - Birthplace of the Six Pack.

Grades - A time tested system of determining academic excellence. The same system listed in crimes applies to MSU and non-MSU athletes who do not make grades.

The Grove - A field with trees in it. Should be pronounced as if there were seven long O's, not just one. The Grooooooove.

The Hug that Lingered - Something you never want to see happen when it involves fat lesbian Auburn fans.

"IT" - Originally, a clever way to build up the anticipation for this board's arrival. However, once we were ratted out to the Swan, "IT" became a whimsical story of true love between two great people, Samantha and Jake. If we had not been banned, their fairy tale engagement would have been broken off due to lesbian infidelity.

Jackie Wayne Sherrill - The man who singlehandedly built, and subsquently destroyed the Mississippi State football program. 

Kids - Humans between the ages of 0-17. Kids are characterized by playing with toys, inability to care for themselves, and dependence on others to complete even the most menial task. Anyone attending college who is still a kid is in the wrong place.

The Kiss of Death - During the 1997 Egg Bowl pre-game brawl, the Big Bad Rebel Daddy lunged at Heydog, and it looked as if hostilities were eminent. Instead, BBRD planted a kiss on Heydog's cheek, ala Michael Corleone. Final Score UM 15, MSU 14. BBRD has assured Heydog he would kiss him before every Egg Bowl if it could guarantee a Rebel victory.

Little Dooey Hot BBQ Sandwich - what to give Big Bad Rebel Daddy to make him leave, quickly, without much fanfare. He'd prefer a Chicken on a Stick, but sometimes, the line is too long.

The Mayor of the left field lounge - None other than Mr. Everette Kennard, who is also a behind the scenes expert baseball analyst in the press box. Both original and honorary members of the six-pack were enjoying themselves one afternoon at a baseball game on top of the short bus. As happens at many baseball games at DNF, the left fielder for the opposing team was being severely heckled. The bus driver, with pad and paper in hand (similar to JWS), felt the obligation to walk over to the short bus and say, "We have 13 recruits here today and they might not understand what you're doing." He walked off and we laughed at him. Later that afternoon, well after the game was over, the six-pack crew was playing a game of corporate rock trivia (see definition above). Granted, we were being loud but nobody was really left in the outfield and the game had been over for at least an hour. The bus driver again appeared at the short bus and said to us, "Don't let the beer get to your heads, we have ladies out here." He left again and we laughed at him some more.

The McClain Theory - If you predict something, and that prediction occurs, no matter how long it took between the time said prediction was made and said prediction actually happened, you are a genius.

Meyer(sp?) - Jackbaddawg, in one of his famous 3 AM posts, misspelled about every other word but the only word he questioned was the spelling of Meyer which he, ironically, spelled correctly.

The 1985 Theory - If Mississippi State had won the 1985 College World Series, we would have won at least 4 more since.

No-look pass - A play that is fun to watch in basketball, but will lead to sure disaster in football. It is highly advised all quarterbacks look at the receiver to which they are throwing the ball.

November 9th, 2002 through November 20th, 2002 - Dawgman13 (who had already been banned as the name Riles) is married and gives the already banned Dawgstudent his password while he is on his honeymoon. Dawgman's post are now more intelligent and less sarcastic and the spelling and grammar greatly improve. After returning from honeymoon Dawgman13 and Dawgstudent both post as Dawgman13 which makes some disciples believe he has split personalities. On November 20th, one of the secret disciple spies tells the Swan of the happenings and both are banned again.

Ole Miss Talent - Talent better than everybody else that somehow fails to win a single conference game

Pork Loin - The best tailgating meat there is. Heydog has over 40 recipes, all of them mouthwatering.

Pythagoras - AKA Troy McLure, message board handle of an alleged former MSU football player. He developed a new principle of mathematics that proved 6 African-American head coaches out of 119 Div 1-A head coaches equals 19.83%

Rebels - People who disagree with the Swan.

Rezervoirdog - username of crackerdog after chris palmer username was banned and reinstated crackerdog username was banned for second time.

Roy McClain - The ultimate conspiracy theorist, has been harping for nearly three years about the arrival of a NCAA investigation at the University of Mississippi. No end in sight for this.

The Short Bus - The infamous Left Field Lounge home of the Six Pack.

The Six Pack - A group of posters that arrived on the Swan's internet message board in the summer of 2002. The Moses of the group, Squintdawg, started the revolution with the now infamous "6-6 is about the best MSU football will do" post. The core group is Squintdawg, Cuzdawg, crackerdog, ExtremeDog, QuitBeggin, and dawgstudent. Contrary to popular belief, Heydog is not an original member, however, he was the last to be banned. Honorary members include but are not limited to heydog6, willi13, dawgpound11, dawgman13, and jsireland.

Six pack softball team - Team that contains sixpack members, ExtremeDog, CuzDawg, Dawgstudent, Quitbeggin, StinkItUp and the Original48. . For security reasons, the team does not wear the name SixPackSpeak.com on the front of their jerseys. Their jersey's bear the name of their corporate sponsor, which is REDACTED. All games are played at REDACTED Park, in REDACTED, Mississippi, which is also referred to by Extremedog as Pessimismville, MS. ExtremeDog is owner, chairman, and CEO of the team. The Original48 is the general manager/manager. He took over the managerial duties in May 2009 from Quitbeggin, who moved to REDACTED to being a new career in the REDACTED business. Quitbeggin is still on the roster, even though he does not play as frequently.

Six Pack Message Board (origin) - The guys known as the Six Pack were, as of April 2003, mostly banned from another message board, so in order to have free discussions about MSU, the Six Pack emailed. Unfortunately for heydog, he cannot access a computer at work, so he literally came home to 100 messages per day from the guys on April 7th, 2003 - April 8, 2003.. Dawgstudent asked if the Six Pack just wanted a message board. Out of convenience and a desire to do what the other message board had asked us to anyway, we set it up. The Six Pack invited a few of the posters who we knew agreed with us on the other message board, but to be honest, nearly all of us thought our membership would top out around 50 or so, and we were fine with that.

Straight from the Horses Mouth - When an Ole Miss fan tells you something they heard somebody else say.

Stranded on the Road - As Heydog, dawgman13, and his brother drove up I-55 North on their way to Oxford for the 1996 Egg Bowl, they passed what looked like a familiar car in a ditch. However, since there was not an exit for miles, and they weren't 100 percent sure, they carried on, only to find out later it was Big Bad Rebel Daddy and his Bulldog fan wife. Final Score MSU 17 UM 0. Heydog has assured BBRD that he would leave him stranded on the road before every Egg Bowl if it would guarantee a Bulldog victory.

The Swan - The "Unofficial" Mouthpiece for the Mississippi State athletic department. You'd be more likely to get O.J. to admit his guilt before the Swan would admit a losing football season is more than likely in 2003. The Swan is easily detectable amongst a crowd of MSU fans, he will be wearing a grey embroidered sweatshirt, no matter the weather, jeans, braided belt and tennis shoes. Approach with extreme caution.

The Sunshine Police - A Gestapo like group of message board posters that rule over the Swan's board with an iron fist. Woe be onto the free thinker who dares cross them. It was their suggestion that the Six Pack create their own board. None of these posters believes in the first Amendment.

The 10 - The total number of USM fans on the planet at any time. When one dies, Nugget lays an egg and a new one hatches. There can be no more than 10 USM fans at a time, and to speak otherwise is heresy.

The Thing - Also referred to as the Hadad Special, a Papa John's Pizza so ridiculously heavy with toppings, that eating more than 3 pieces may rupture your stomach. Available only through close friendship with Heydog.

Tiger Stadium - Where Maroon and White dreams go to die.

Urine - Evidently an acceptable form of expressing your dislike for the University of Mississippi on the Swan's page.

Disclaimer: The Six Pack reserves the right to add more entries as deemed necessary. Please remember that this could be considered a handy manual but is meant nothing more than a document laced with humor. Although, some might view this as a death threat.

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